Getting Closer...

Well, the weekend passed quickly, and I am back at work to begin Week #12. I spent Monday in the office, trying to get some wrap-up done on the audit I have been working on the past couple of weeks.
There were no big events of the day. Things pretty much went on as usual. Although I did spend a little time working with some folks in the office to get things squared away for my wrapping up this secondment. I only have 2.5 weeks left here, and no one can believe it. People around the office keep stopping by and asking me, because they know I will be leaving soon, but no one believes me when I tell them it is less than three weeks away. It really is kind of hard to believe that things here are coming to an end so soon!
Of course, the funny part about the job is that it appears to be wrapping up the same way it started. I had some folks come around on Monday and ask me US accounting questions. I think they are trying to get in all of their US education in before I leave! I just think it is funny to have directors coming up to me and asking about technical accounting treatments, since my first week on the job was spent reviewing US GAAP financial statements. But I do what I can to help, and at least it makes me look smart. HA!
Monday afternoon, Kim, the coordinator for the audit department, came around with a box of candy that she was selling as a fundraiser. I’m not sure where the money went, but people around the office have these boxes of candy pretty regularly. She had a new staff person with her (who was not assigned on a job that day) doing the money collections and helping her sell candy. Interesting way to earn your salary, right?
So she popped around the corner to convince me to buy some candy. I made some crack about the Girl Scouts coming cube-to-cube to sell cookies. I thought she was going to pee her pants, she was laughing so hard. “COOkies?! CUUUHkies?!” Obviously, she was trying to mimic my accent. (My goal before I leave is to teach her proper Southern English.) But I forgot that cookie is not a very common term over here. So as she was laughing, the staff guy walked around, and Kim had to explain what was so funny. Before I could say anything, she made some comment about Nate (the guy from Texas), and how his accent bleeds through his emails. I told her that Nate didn’t really have an accent, and she started laughing. “Oh, sorry. I mean Southern accent.” The staff guy said, “Oh, yeah. Nate. Yeah, you guys have different accents.” Kim laughed hysterically and said, “Yes, Jenny, you are way out there on your own.” I laughed and said, “My momma will be so proud.” Then she laughed harder and I figured out the Southern drawl had really shone through on that one. So Mom: I done good.
On an accent note, I neglected to tell a story from Sunday. We were ordering drinks while waiting for a couple more folks to show up at brunch. Everyone had ordered some sort of “special” drink (latte, whatever), and all I asked for was a Diet Coke. The waitress looked at me and said, “Mocha latte?” WHAT? I said, “Uh, no. DIET COKE!” She looked at me funny, I said it one more time, and she finally caught it. (I’ll give her credit that it was a tad bit noisy in the restaurant.) She smiled at me and said, “OH! Diet Coke!” I said, “I’m sorry. I know I have a bit of an accent.” She started laughing, along with the rest of the table. Then Jamie, one of the guys with us, said, “Well, I think she got a table full of accents here.” Yeah, we were all foreigners. I just thought it funny that she understood the two Scottish girls, but not the American. Whatever.
Of course, from that point, brunch evolved into a discussion of “weird” things. It stemmed from my ordering pancakes with sausage and eggs. The waitress asked if I wanted tomato sauce on my sausage. “Uhhhh. No thanks.” (Eew!) So I made a comment to Julie (from Scotland), who was sitting next to me about, “Ketchup on sausage? REALLY?” She said, “YES! You don’t eat ketchup on your sausage?” Which I guess it is technically similar to eating ketchup on a hot dog, but I just can’t do ketchup for breakfast. Anyway. Julie said something about how much she liked eating with different nationalities, because everyone has such interesting habits. Charlotte, the other Scot at the table, Julie, and Jamie (from England) started talking about different food habits in the UK. Then Charlotte turned to me and said, “Do you ever eat jam on your sandwich with peanut butter?” I laughed. “Oh God, yes. Peanut butter and jelly is my absolute favorite sandwich!” Charlotte was totally grossed out and couldn’t understand how anyone could eat PB&J. Now that is one I never imagined would be a controversial food habit. Interesting…
But I digress; back to the current week. On Tuesday, I headed back to the client to spend half a day there wrapping up all the loose ends. Half a day turned into all of Tuesday and some spill over into Wednesday morning. I don’t have much in the way of stories for you guys for these two days. The cool part of Monday and Tuesday night are that I figured out that I get the Sunday night and Monday Night Football games here, just a day late. WOO HOO! I am hoping these continue for the next couple of weeks. (I just have to remember not to check the scores.) I am having American sport withdrawal right now. And even though I am missing out on my favorite college football, it has been kind of nice to see some of the American football games instead of just soccer, rugby, and Aussie rules footie!
Wednesday marks the countdown date. Two weeks from today is my last day working here in Sydney. Of course, I still am scrambling to figure out what Sally and I are going to see and do during the 13 days we are on holiday here. But we have a good idea, and I will be spending this weekend finalizing our travel plans. So far, our agenda is pretty packed! But if I can work it out, we are going to see some pretty cool places: New Zealand, Melbourne, and Cairns (the Great Barrier Reef). Jealous? Yeah, you should be! But I promise, I will get some good pictures, fun stories, and I will have them all up on the blog site as soon as I get access!
Okay, so enough about my travel plans. You guys are only here for the mX update, I know! Well, your wish is my command. The stories have finally gotten funny again! And since I this post is covering three days this week, I have three stories of the day for you…
TEXT VENTS:
“When and why did fishnet stockings come into fashion? They still make women look cheap and trashy.” – Brad, Mortdale (Amen. And there are tons of women wearing them over here. Most of which shouldn’t be. Not that anyone should wear them…)
“Big fella, that was the biggest load of crap I’ve ever heard.” – Liz, Penrith (Sadly enough, Liz is right. It was a big load of crap.)
“Milk is white because that’s how it comes naturally out of the cow.” – C, Sydney. (Who asked that question???)
“Can someone please tell me who said it was fashionable to grow a rat’s tail. It’s a glorified mullet and you look like a tool. And don’t get me started about bleaching it. How can you seriously ask for that from a hairdresser?” – Chris, Wollongong (Oh dear Lord, the rednecks have followed me over here!)
STORY OF THE DAY:
Apparently England is the toughest place in the world to get a driver’s license. A woman failed her driving test because the examiner cited her for a traffic offense of “careless, and inconsiderate, driving.” The woman claimed that if she had swerved to avoid, she could have caused an accident. But apparently it was more important that the woman stop and exchange details with the man who was “injured” in the accident. What did this driver do, exactly? She drove through a puddle and splashed a pedestrian.
My favorite story of the week comes from caverns outside of Geneva, along the borders of France and Switzerland. If you haven’t heard, there is a group of scientists who are working to recreate the Big Bang using a Large Hadron Collider (“LHC”) to smash protons together at the speed of light, in an effort to recreate a smaller scale of the events that may have occurred during the theoretical dawn of creation. Now, some people are a bit upset about what these scientists are doing, and are afraid that the experiment could create a black hole that destroys the earth. But the test is supposed to occur Wednesday evening in Geneva. However, Physicist Brian Cox, one of the PhDs working on this project, has a reassuring message for everyone, showing his years of knowledge and post-graduate education: “Anyone who thinks the LHC will destroy the world is a twat.”
And speaking of brilliant researchers, I wanted to share with you all the results of an important study out of Sussex University. Believe it or not, alcohol affects memory formation. Apparently, this research has found that for people who go out drinking, memories of the good times that occur at the start of the evening are often remembered, while the embarrassing antics once the drinker gets drunk are often forgotten. Therefore, people are more likely to drink heavily the next time they go out because they only remember the good times. Now, what I want to know is who paid for this research and why do they act like the research proved anything new? I mean, I already knew these “facts,” and, if necessary, I could have done the research for free. Just go to a college bar, and there you go. BRILLIANT!